Poetry – Page 2 – Green and Grey

Flame in the Well

Flame in the Well
Well in the Flame
Blessed St Brigit
Know their name

Keeper of the Ways
Be their Guide
Show them where
Their dis-ease lies

Healer and Poet
Forge and Smith
Reveal to them
The strengths they’re with

Beloved of Our Lady
All a glow
That they are loved
Let them know

Well in the Flame
Flame in the Well
In Health and Happiness
Let them Dwell

On a Dark Moon in Cancer

Patherfinder Godsoul
Wandering guide
From moon you run
From sun you hide

Four petaled flower
Of rotting flesh
Shrieking hunger
Claws through death

Reaching fingers
Grasping hand
Basking, patient
Lies the land

Watching giants
Piercing eyes
Sliding in silence
Untangling minds

Red slices open
Black peeks through
Blazing sword
Sheathed anew

Dancing Goddess
Gap toothed smile
Cloak swirls over
Hearts beguiled

Tin men standing
On dust of gold
Cobwebs shrouding
Lores of old

Through it blazing
The eternal king
Compassion razing
Bones within

Dark hearts beating
Mirrored breath
Who’s competing
In the land of Death

Sound breaks over
Forgotten stones
Truth comes calling
From broken homes

Slit eyed bleating
At the break of dawn
Storm clouds receding
From the cups of horn

And here’s a glimmer
Of what came before
Red spire rising
A dark wooden door

Who will enter
Who remain behind
Trapped in amber
A thin black line

Just when we begin
To breathe once more
The crooked hand beckons
From behind the Whore

But she is softness
Wrapped in night
Welcome comfort
Consoling light

Serenade

There’s confusion in my eyes
My heart’s wearing a disguise
As I sit and stare
Into thin air

The screen is off yet I still rage
About some bitch from some fiction’s page
Her pimpled head I’d love to squash
Or flay her skin till it strips right off

My hands bend into a claw
I start to hunch and clench my jaw
Then like a whirlpool
It turns in and my rage cools

And I realise that
The one I spat poison at
Is just a reflection of me
And the parts I don’t want to see

Hate turns in and I curse my form
Wonder why I can’t be more like the norm
And not some misogynistic prick
Who can’t reach out ‘cause their skin’s too thick

And I turn to stone
So much better off alone
Away from people anyway
I prefer Spirits any day

So I turn and ask him why
‘To return to me’ is his reply
His eyes are large and his smile strange
And if I could just rearrange

Yet he feels like I’ve come home
His reaching hand so much like my own
Glowing heart all aflame
And he knows my secret name

As our fingers intertwine
Mine in his and his in mine
Something shifts and is not the same
Somehow I am me again

Reclaiming my Hand

Fingers in
Pressing down
Can you feel it?
I used to wonder
Why I never allowed myself
To get drunk
Now I know

Fingers in
Pressing down
Can you feel it?
Always wondering why
Never knowing
Hating hospitals
Avoiding surgery

Fingers in
Pressing down
Can you feel it?
Saying you were just
Following orders
Isn’t good enough
Hypocrisy sticks

Fingers in
Pressing down
Can you feel it?
How long was it
Before one of you
Had the Nerve
To take a stand?

Fingers in
Pressing down
Can you feel it?
Each digit is mine
To command
May they rot off your bones
Blacken your name

Fingers in
Pressing down
Can you feel it?
Violation
Is not just a word
Meant for someone
Awake or aware

Fingers in
Pressing down
Can you feel it?
Silence is not Golden
Your voice wilts
It holds no power here
Not anymore

Fingers in
Pressing down
Can you feel it?
I am not some lesson
A text book
Written in flesh
Blood and bone

Fingers in
Pressing down
Can you feel it?
My fingers
Pressing your bones
Tearing your flesh
While you sleep unaware

Fingers in
Pressing down
Can you feel it?
My hand around your throat
Strangling your thoughts
Pressing on your
Peace of mind

Fingers in
Pressing down
Can you feel it?
The panic as you try to wake
Ease yourself from fear
But don’t worry
I’ll be back tomorrow

Fingers in
Pressing down
Can you feel it?

About this poem

He beckons to me
My Dark Lover
In secret whispers
And hidden sighs
Come to me
My broken beauty
Dance with me
On shattered lives
His voice is deep
And full of longing
Like sunset light
Among darkened trees
Fingers reaching
Pale shards of bone
Piercing skin
Like tattered leaves
And I lay wrapped
In his silken blackness
Parted lips wait
To breathe their last
Till teasing smiles
Crack me open
Silvered tears
Break my fast
And I sigh
One long breath out
A holy prayer
To he who waits
For me to grasp
His outstretched hand
And dance the dance
Of Wyrd and Fate

About the poem

Another One Bites the Dust

They hit me
Those words spoken
So casually.
I feel it
Spiked edge sharp
Metallic
Barbed wire buried deep
Into flesh already holding
So many
Scars
And cracks.
It hurts
But I smile
Pretending to be OK
Because
If I speak
My words are encoded.
Like a Sphynx
I speak in riddles
Very few
Understand;
Like the Lonely Whale
I communicate
In a frequency
No other hears
Despite being
Surrounded;
In community.
You correct me
When I try to speak
Regardless.
I begin a sentence
And you break in
With questions.
Clarifications.
To understand me
Because I am such a bad
Communicator.
It’s true:
My past is littered
With failed attempts
At connection.
I see in your eyes
Embarrassment
At being linked with me
In society.
Afraid perhaps
That my poor attempts
At talking
Will reflect badly on you;
On the work we both serve.
So I stay silent.
Or speak in whispers
To a trusted few.
And slip further
Away
Another crack
Another scar
And I wonder at when
My being
My One
Became so
Reliant
Dependant
On what others
Thought
Or said.
When was it
That first time I
Was shut down
Shut out
For being bad
At communicating?
I take a look at
My scars
My cracks
And see myself
In so many
Broken shards;
Reflections
Of reflections.
Too many.
I have somehow
Lost myself here
My core strength
Oozing out
Like pus
Into nothingness.
My silent consent
For others
To dictate terms
For how
I
Should be
Rests against
That
Metallic point.
I encase it
In my pus
My blood
My tears and sweat.
I take it in
As a reminder
That I am
Strong
And capable;
That being me
When I am true
To myself
Is everything
I need
To focus on.
To be whole.
I admit thinking
Briefly
When that barb
First hit
That here it was.
The end
Of another
Relationship.
But instead
It is the beginning.

Moonstruck Dreaming

The adventure begins when
I stand before them and say
As this candle is lit
May you light my way
I offer them incense and
Wave them three times
May they nourish and
Sustain you is my next line
Sometimes I kneel but
More often I stand
Maybe I’ll sit as they
Come take my hand
And suddenly the room
Is not not the same anymore
Our two realms blend and
They open a door
The floor becomes water
Dragonflies in the air
Or maybe I’ll find I have
Moss in my hair
And that I’m in a grove
Surrounded by Oaks
With boughs of Holly
How their thorny leaves poke!
And I’ll lie on the grass
As he strokes my hair
And tells those secrets
That only we share
As the Fae dance around us
And we pretend not to see
Their shimmering faces
Full of mischievous glee
Or maybe I’ll travel on some
Perilous dream quest
Through the stone hollows
With too much to digest
As I challenge my shadows
Or murky visions see
Maybe ancestors come
Just to spend time with me
While hidden dangers around
Every cobwebbed corner lie
And sometimes I will feel
The end really is nigh
As I find myself trapped by
Dark thoughts and fear
And need to remember
All that I hold dear
And that I am courageous
And loving and kind
That none of this means
That I’ve lost my mind
I’m just on an adventure
That others don’t share
Perhaps they don’t want to
Or maybe they don’t care
But it doesn’t really matter
At least not to me
As I wrap myself up
In your bright divinity
And smile as I realise
How important you are
To my still being here
And not going too far
For daily life fades
When you are around
But still I can bear it
Because you I have found
And we travel together
This crooked left path
With your hand in mine
And love in our heart

Surface Reflections

I am ready to embrace
Who I am
Except when I’m not
Ready
It’s hard
When you’re an
Inbetween
It’s been a full year today
Since
I came out online
As Asexual
As panromantic
As they
In that time I’ve
Come to terms
With being
Nonbinary
In a binary world
I call myself Al
Except when I don’t
Signature coming out
All wrong
Having to do it
Again
I still get a flush of
Pride
When my self talk
Works
And I call myself
Al
But then family don’t
And work forgets
Even though it’s
Official
Only it’s not
My work is happy
To call me
By my chosen name
But then
Tax is different
So
My pay details are for
My birth name
And people who know me
Before
Still call me
By that name
Or forget
And it’s embarrassing
To have to
Correct
Them all the time
So I let it go
My beloved chosen
Family
Are so supportive
Take such care when
Referring to me
Calling my
Name
They are the reason I
Was able to
Come out
Be myself
In the first place
Until I met them
I didn’t even
Realise why I felt
The way I
Do
Or did
Especially my ‘brother’
Who pushed me
To accept
Myself
And held me when I
Stumbled
So I wouldn’t fall
I’m part of a Pride group
At work
It’s been wonderful
To be part
Of a group that
Wants to
Include you
Only they don’t
Because
LGBTI only know how
To deal with
The L, G and B part
Even though they say
They want to address
The rest
Stupid how the
Small things
Can make you so
Happy
Like being able
To use the
Gender neutral
Toilets
If no-one else is
Or being called Al
On my name tag
And my email
Like helping my
Community
For wear it purple day
We managed to raise
More money for
Minus18
Than we had for
Any charity
Before
It made me wonder
Why
And I feel so
Naive
Or a freak
Having to
Stand up and be
Noticed
To push an
Agenda that others
Don’t have to
They are binary
They look at me and see
The surface
And sometimes that means
I do too

This One’s Dawning

Come along with me
And we’ll fly to the moon
Dance on the silver sands
Roll over each glorious dune
While etched above our heads
Glittering sparks of star light
Play amidst glowing balls
Wonders of eternal night
I look at your silent face
A mask of red white and black
Lit up by my shining heart
And I know you are smiling back
That behind your mask
You think kindly of me
And this show of wonders
You set up so I can see
Yet I fear that all this is dust
And we are dreaming here
So down I fall into the dark
But you are ever near
And there I find you yet again
Yet in a different guise
Your mask exchanged for a veil
Black drapes about your eyes
That dangle entwined with
Feathers of a raven cloak
You sit in a chamber of stone
I listened but you never spoke
You gestured to a round table
Marked and laid with runes
While drifting from some way off
Came the tickle of a lazy tune
The light was thick and heavy
And I stood there dumb
Unknowing and unsure
My body felt entirely numb
Like I was somewhere else
That this was not meant for me
You plucked out my bloody heart
And held it for me to see
I realised that I was naked
Standing before you in my skin
Which you painted in my blood
Sigils of knowing from my kin
They seeped in as you stroked
The tear that escaped my dam
Whispered to me words so soft
Like the wool of a newborn lamb
And suddenly I understood
As your blackness turned to white
The secrets of life death and life
A spiraling wondrous height
That left me giddy and raw and
Trying desperately not to swoon
I clutch my wildwood tree and hear
Come long with me to the moon

Embracing Water

What lies beneath the water?
I stand at the shore
With the shoes
Watching the others wade
Into Merlin’s cave
I would love to follow but
My feet would have to step
Into that water and I can’t
So I stand with shoes
And wait for them to return
What does the water hold?
Such a beautiful waterfall
In a sparkling glen
With ribbons tied to the trees
And candles in the rocks
The water is shallow and
They are walking across
To see the wonders more closely
I stand on the shore
Or balance precariously
On the stepping stones
What secrets are in that water?
I try to sleep
But the sound of the creek
Keeps me awake with its
Endless sighs and laughter
He smiles at me and I feel
Safer somehow and I long
To be that brave explorer
That sparkles from legend
So I buy a talisman
Aquamarine
In the shape of a toad
From where the creek babbles
How the water speaks
I stand at the edge
Healing waters fill the open bath
People dangle their feet
Or move through it
Soaking it in
I finger my talisman
And sit in the sun nearby
He brings to me Strawberry
So named for her hair
And she warns me
Not to trust
That everything will change
That he is not what he seems
What causes the water to move?
Time passes and I feel
Like I have grown
They are meeting Hecate
At the beach
The tide is coming in
We stand on the sand
And she claims her offerings
Water rising around our ankles
I feel its movement
On my skin and it is
Comforting
Like I have come home
Or am in tune with its
Gentle tugging motions
I smile and look down
At my talisman
Working his magic
How water fills me
I wake damp with sweat
The smell of salt still
Deep within my nostrils
The emerald sea moving
Behind my eyes
The boat wasn’t there
And I was in the water
Wondering about sharks
In front of me there was a
Single rolling wave
Like the flipper of a lazy whale
Rising up
And I saw it moving
Something in the water
Getting closer
With nowhere for me to run
Tiny ripples form around an
Edge of skin
Becoming larger
The green bump of a nose
I feel its edges as the face
Rises up
Water dripping from his scales
The nose becoming
A long snout
Like that of a crocodile
Only larger and green
Teeth glinting under the jade
Glowing sky
We face each other
Something dangerous
A warning
A protector
And I wake damp with salt
Deep within his belly
Listening to the hunger
Of the screeching winds