poetry – Page 3 – Green and Grey

Journey’s Knowing

Knowing that I have to go
Not wanting to
But understanding that
I just can’t stay
Not anymore
Knowing that ultimately
It doesn’t matter
I’ll still be who I am
Inside and out
Regardless
Knowing that my gifts
Will always travel with me
No matter where I go
Or how I get there
Or when
Knowing that I cannot tell
What the future really holds
My cards fall as they will
And point out places
Of interest
Knowing that I will never
Fully understand
The true meaning of life
My confusion is part
Of who I am
Knowing that my fate
Is in the winds
They are stronger than I am
And I fly wherever
They send me
Knowing that this house
Is falling down
And I am being torn
From it’s hearth my heart
Tear stained embers
Knowing I am more than
My possessions
Even my flesh seems so
Tiny in comparison
With the stars
Knowing that the days ahead
Are going to be hard
They will tear me apart
And somehow I will
Put myself back together
And be different
Knowing that I am afraid
And have no power to stop
The inevitable entropy
That surrounds my every
Waking breath
Knowing that despite all this
I love and am loved
Am held and watched over
Led through this darkness
Into the light beyond

Slashed and Wind Torn

Yesterday was horrible
He howled and stomped
And I shook
He swirled around
Swallowing me up
Like I’d asked for
But I ran
It wasn’t a loving embrace
It frightened me
In some dark hard to reach
Primal part of me
I was scared
Little child hugging my knees
Waiting for someone to come
Rescue me
From my fears and dreams
Freddy lurching, claws extended
Welcome to prime time, bitch!
Yesterday I drove away
Trying to outrun his reach
Hands grasping at me
At every turn
Throwing whatever he could find
In my path
I wished I had someone with me
To shiver with
Swallowing my tears
Blinking hard to keep my eyes clear
So I didn’t crash
They opened the door
How lovely to see you
Thanks for bringing that
So stupid of me to have left it behind
Then they saw
Put the kettle on
Strange how tea is always
A healing thing
For a moment they had seen
I had let them see
My vulnerability
The glamour of always being strong
Had shattered
And they put me back together
Hugged me so that I knew
I was not alone
And I turned
Fortified and armored
Able to face the angry winds
To return to my ravaged house
Roof banging
House shaking
Held in the knowing
That this is not all I am
I am so much more
And I am not alone

This One’s Journey

This canvas holds
A fragment
Something wonderful
Is hinted at
In the circumstances
Of its becoming
And yet
Behind that arc of
Rainbowed ink
Lies such darkness
Untapped depths
That could swallow up
Everything

This canvas holds
A memory
Of horrors to come
Distorted faces
Beckon
With twisted smiles
As I smile back
Wrapped in the
Beauty
Of difference
Chaotic serendipity
Wailing and black
Calling me home

This canvas holds
A promise
Once made to a
Beloved
Pure and glowing
Serpentine threads
That dance their
Red black and white
Innocence
Pulsating within
And around
My broken green
Heart

This canvas holds
An emptiness
Too great to fathom
Nothingness
That ever lies
The river Styx
With no ferryman
To guide the
Unwary traveler
Enchanted
By the iridescent
Seductiveness
Of its still dark

This canvas holds
A yearning
Calling me from my
Dreaming skin
Seeking kindred
In the swirling winds
I soar up
On borrowed bones
Something more
At this moment
Than I have
Ever been and
Ever will be

Hunger

I am hungry for
That which is
Beyond
The dying sun
It’s blood soaked clouds
Beckon
Hold my starved eyes
Draws me closer
I feel the stinging
Coolness
Hit my skin
Like a dead
Puffer fish
Slapping my face
Filling me with its
Pungent scent
Sweetly sick
Decaying flesh
Bursting
With the juices
Of death
My hunger crawls
Like something out of a
Zombie’s grave
Lurching and
Uncoordinated
Towering over
Menacing
Not of this world
It is like a deep black
Abyss
That can never
Be filled
Completion so far
Far away
A black hole that sucks in
Universes
Yet is never sated
I yearn and ache
In the emptiness
Left behind
Abandoned
Dying
Searching
From the moment
I was born
Torn from spirit
Cursed with flesh
My soul screaming
Screeching into the
Writhing embers
Billowing
Striving for that
One pure spark
A cry from
My beloved
The answer to
My questioning
Something
Everything
Anything

Don’t Stray from the Octave

I can no longer ignore
That you are a bore
Your voice just goes on and on
Every single word or phrase
Seems to last for days!
You must be some kind of con!

They told me with awe
A word I abhor
That your timing is perfect. Sublime.
Yet you blunder about
Like some country lout
Whose totally lost their mind

Your voice they raised high
Huh, pigs might fly!
It curdles the brain to hear
A word of advice
In your ear if I might
Don’t stray from the octave my dear

If you may be so kind
And it’s been on my mind
Consider how one should walk
You waddle about stage
Like some duck on parade
Or stride like some kind of stork

From where I sit
Pease don’t have a fit
Your head is abnormally large
Wearing those clothes
And standing in that pose
It floats on your neck like a barge

Try to understand
I’m offering you my hand
I’m telling you for your own good
It’s better to see
How awful you can be!
It’s like talking to a block of wood!

Holding the Stars

I wander into the wilderness
Its dank moist darkness holds me
Deep within its shadows
Every step takes me closer
To something that has been lost
For a long time

I feel its pull and move effortlessly
Tangled gnarled roots do not trip me
The tickle of delicate webs do not touch
Nothing bites, or scratches, or cuts
I miss nothing and no-one
And I move

I see the rainbowed mountain
Hear the wind in the trees
Feel it caress my face
I am smiling as I gaze upwards
Through the lace of the branches
I feel it near

The rocks call out to me as I pass
I stop with them sometimes
Chatting about the ends of stars
The churn of breaking down and
Reforming into something new
Or something old

Water trickles down from somewhere above me
Sparkling against the moss covered sides
Of trees and boulders and tiny stones
It glistens in the sunlight and
Turns the air into many colours
That dance and spin

And poised at the centre of it all
That one perfect moment
When everything was wonderful
And I could hold the stars within my eyes
And the secrets of the universe beckoned
Beneath my skin

Seeking Quicksilver

I once sat sagely
Beneath the tree
And focused on what
Was and wasn’t me
The deep gouged bark
Pressed into my back
I looked up at my oak
Sea of green on black
Branches swaying like
Snakes in the sky
I found myself there
And in my mind’s eye
Noticed I was travelling
And yet sitting still
Body patiently waiting
As the silver soul will
Go travelling off
With the spirits and sprites
Leave day down below
And travel into night
Landing in the dark
My wings disappear
Wrapped all in shadows
The bright ones appear
Surround me laughing
With their glowing Fae lights
Teeth and claws hiding
Behind masks of delight
And I smile truly
As I become me
My human dissolving
And I shed it with glee
Fingers grow longer
And nails and hair
Teeth become sharper
I am more aware
Feeling him near me
Wandering thrill
Knowing his heart
Beats for mine still
We gaze in the waters
Formed by the dew
Our futures entwining
Past and present too
I reach towards him
And he towards me
His eyes quicksilver
An ocean unseen
Since the dawn of time
And far beyond then
Dancing my shadows
Arora tinged skin
Licking that spark
At the centre of self
And it blazes brightly
Flamed serpentine elf
All becomes brighter
Such colours appear
Swirling around me
To hold me right here
Be one forever and
Never look back
Feeling such wholeness
Not that I lack
Something I can’t quite
Fathom or grasp
The fear of it spasms
The death rattle rasps
And that dull ache
Returns with such force
I remember what was
As time takes its course
And I find myself sitting
Beneath that oak tree
Wondering what was
And what wasn’t me

About the poem

Step into the Mystery

Step into the mystery
Through the serpent gate
Teeth and claw and
Hoof and jaw and
Death and life await

Step into the mystery
Walk the hidden path
Light and gleams
Of eyes unseen
As shadows dance and laugh

Step into the mystery
Which way will you choose
The way you see
May just not be
And maybe you will lose

Step into the mystery
Right into this ring
The world you know
May decide to go
And leave you wandering

Step into the mystery
Tell me what you see
Can’t trust your eyes
They might tell lies
And then where would you be

My Soul’s Ache

You are under my skin
And in my bones
My blood sings
For you
When you are near
I feel the deepest
Throbbing
As my veins
Reach
For you
Blood to blood
Your touch
On my shoulder
Stroke of my cheek
Calls to something
Hidden
Deep within the shadows
Of this soul’s
Essence
Beyond mortality
Beyond physicality
My ache is
Never
Sated
Unless you are near
Your voice
The sweetest music
Slides
Down my throat
Like nectar
Sending me into
Ecstatic
Dreams
I breathe up stars
Knowing the wonder of
Your universe
Is right here
In this rose that blooms
Where my heart
Should lie
The depths of
Nothingness
Is kept at bay by the
Glint
Of your eyes
Captured
In the mirror of
Its blackness
You hold me
Within your red
And green
And I watch
As all else
Fades
Until there is
Only you
Drawn out like
A sigh
On a cool
Summer breeze
I drift
Over the rainbowed mist
Of the everlasting
Dust
Dancing
To the cosmic ebb
And flow
At once mountain
Rock
And sand
You fill me up
Until I
Writhe
In your brightness
And glow
Like the fullest
Moon
You are within
Every
Part
Of me
Skin, bone
And breath
My life
A song meant
For you
Alone
Joy of my heart
My soul’s
Sweet
Ache

Soul Spirit

Touching you is like stroking sunshine
You fill my heart till it overflows
I take your hand and I feel like I’m flying
To wonder land I go

You smile and my world is lit up
Everything is brand new
I breathe you in and it seems like I’m dying
The world grows see through

To be part of you is all I could hope for
I never knew that you were so near
Beneath my skin, or am I under yours
We’re both right here

This brightness sparkles with me
I fade away and yet will never leave
This great expanse has always been my playground
See such webs we weave

When I leave the world crashes on me
I feel its weight like a note that’s out of tune
It’s all discords and I just feel like crying
Alone in my room

But I know that you’re always with me
I can reach out to you at any time
My heart is whole, shining out from within me
Heals this soul of mine