Shadowself – Green and Grey

My Shield Song

I am happy
I am strong
I am healthy
I belong

I sing it out
And sing it proud
For I am me
Whole unto myself

I sing it out
And sing it proud
For I am me
Whole unto my self

The Hammer Falls

The Hammer Falls
I hear your name
The Hammer Falls
I feel your pain
The Hammer Falls
And houses tumble
The Hammer Falls
And people crumble

The Hammer Falls
in blood it’s writ
The Hammer Falls
The land is split
The Hammer Falls
And blots the sun
The Hammer Falls
Nowhere to run

So this is it
Our call to action
Lets go and put
Our pointed hats on
For they may rule the day
But through the dark we’ll bring the dawn
Our Phoenix rises
From the Ashes hope is born

The Hammer Falls
But we’re not broken
The Hammer Falls
Our hearts are open
The Hammer Falls
We’re on the rise
The Hammer Falls
We fill the skies

The Hammer Falls
Our temper’s strong
The Hammer Falls
Our reach is long
The Hammer Falls
We will not die
The Hammer Falls
Remember why

So this is it
Our call to action
Lets go and put
Our pointed hats on
For they may rule the day
But through the dark we’ll bring the dawn
Our Phoenix rises
From the Ashes hope is born
From the Ashes hope is born

Without Me

I’m standing in my corner looking out
At a world moving on without me
I’m happy in my corner looking out
As the world moves right on without me

I stand here barely breathing
Just a tiny little baby step from leaving
Cause I can’t understand why I’m freezing
And not taking that step
Not even moving a bit

Just

Standing in my corner looking out
At the world moving on without me
Happy in my corner looking out
As the world moves right on without me

I stand here barely breathing
Just a tiny little baby step from leaving
But I can’t understand why I’m freezing
And not taking that step
Not even moving one bit

Just

Standing in my corner looking out
At a world moves right on without me
I’m happy in my corner looking out
As the world moves right on without me

I stand here barely breathing
Just a tiny little baby step from leaving
Cause I can’t understand why I’m freezing
And not taking that step
Not even moving a bit

Just standing in my corner looking out
At a world moving on without me

Song – Without Me

See it Out

A song to keep going and continue walking our path when everything is screaming for us to just give up.

Walking down a road that’s
Swallowed by the dark
That could be my life hey
I said with a laugh
Just me and a big
Empty sky full of black
Walking all alone through life
Just me and this track

Breathe in
Breath out
Keep moving
See it out

Sometimes I’d give anything
Just to see the sun
Feels like I’m sleepwalking
It isn’t that much fun
The vastness of life feels like
It doesn’t have a form
I just can’t help wondering
Why I was even born

Breathe in
Breathe out
Keep moving
See it out

She tells me to keep walking
And I will see the dawn
My legs they start aching and
My body’s feeling worn
How can I keep on moving when
All I want is sleep
Seems like any moment that I’ll
Fall down in a heap

Breathe in
Breathe out
Keep moving
See it out

The road just keeps on going always
Swallowed by the dark
And I keep on walking always
Following my path
Why must I keep on moving
It just never seems to end
Maybe things will change if I
Turn around this bend

Breathe in
Breathe out
Keep moving
See it out

See it Out – Song

The Well

A song for letting go (designed for working with Brigid)

Wearing chains I went down to the well
Dragging chains I went down to the well
Saw Her flame shining bright
Above the water deep and black
Saw Her Name blazing right
Above the water deep and black

I walked right up to the edge

And I screamed
I want to be free
From this pain and misery
Cruel mean people
Are always poking me

I took a step

And plunged down through the waters of the well
Sank right down through the waters of the well
Twisted chains all around
So heave dark and tight
Blinding pain wrapped around
So heavy dark and tight

I came right up to my edge

And I screamed
I choose to be free
From this pain and misery
Cruel mean people
Don’t let them bother me

I took a step

And left it all in the waters of Her well
Released it all in the waters of Her well
Left those heavy chains behind
Loosened by Her healing deep
And the pain that kept me blind
Loosened by Her healing deep

I swam back up to Her edge

And I screamed
I’m finally free
From this pain and misery
Cruel mean people
Aren’t really who I see

I took a step

The Well – Song

Echoes from a song of Iron

Alien
This feeling
Of otherness
Separateness
Being torn
From some
Memory
Of union
Oneness
That was once
But is no more
It burns
To touch this
Stuff
That houses my
True Self
Such ugly layers
Thingness
Heavy
Dull
Each movement
Awkward
Uncomfortable
Unclean
This messiness
Is not me
It is my prison
Nothing more
The flow
So beautiful
Enticing
Haunting
Laughing at my
Misery
Thickness clogging
Solid
Hard
Nothing flows
Anymore
Except in the
Heart of my mind’s
Eye
In that space
I remember
Re Member
Myself
Back to the
Nothingness
The void that is
All
Centre
Everything
In that space
Between breath
And death
I am somehow
Whole
Myself
In all my splendour
Only here am I
Truly me
Everything else is
The half-remembered
Dream
Of One who once
Was starlight
And infinite

Lucifer Fell

Lucifer fell from the sky on a day
As the Earth was still turning round
Lucifer fell from the sky on a day
As the Earth was still turning round

He burned as he fell and he fell as he burned
And he turned into ash on the ground
He burned as he fell and he fell as he burned
And he turned into ash on the ground

The light that you see low in the sky
At morning and evening is He falling by

Your feet are His ash while your eyes are His spark
And your lips mouth His question of why
Your feet are His ash while your eyes are His spark
And your lips mouth His question of why

His wisdom lies here at the heart of your soul
If you only knew first how to cry
His wisdom lies here at the heart of your soul
If you only knew first how to cry

The light that you see low in the sky
At morning and evening is He falling by

Lucifer fell from the sky on a day
As the Earth was still turning round

Lucifer Fell – Song

Feels Like Home

For Felix

I love the way you make me feel when you hug me
I know I’m not alone
I love the way you make me feel when you’re with me
Cause it feels like home
It feels like
Home

I can feel and cry freely
I don’t have to hold it in
I can rage and scream and yell
And it won’t sound like a din
I don’t have to pretend
Cause my mask is coming off

With you I’m fee
To be me

Why can’t I cry?
Why must my sun just keep on shining
Clouds refuse to pass by
And my heart just keeps on pining
Fills me up, every port
Overflows till there’s just drowning
Neverending always more
Head can’t think for pounding
A flash of red
My blood just keeps on raging
And that flush of dread
Many eyes that seek engaging

Till you’re just there
A touch a sound my anchor
A show of care
Around me now my harbour
And I know I’m held
Your arms, no place safer
Such release, heart felt
Sun returns from its shelter

I love the way you make me feel when you hug me
I know I’m not alone
I love the way you make me feel when you’re with me
Cause it feels like home
It feels like
Home

Listen to the song

About the Song

Dinner Mug

A challenge

It’s old cracked and worn
From the love that it’s seen
In the light you can still see a trace

At the back of our cupboard
It sits alone and unwashed
Ol’ shadowed time capturing a face

The only thing I have left
To remember you by
And looking at it now sadness drips

Opportunities lost
Hidden words left unsaid
Heart like ropes over which I still trip

They don’t understand why
It still sits on that shelf
Keep telling me to get something new

That while it still sits there
It’s like you’re still around
Their heads are thick, words just don’t get through

In the morning I sit
Tell you how well I slept
The trivial things you never heard

And for a brief moment
Twirling feathers in air
I lift off from the ground like a bird

Things will change, I know that
I’m not fooling myself
Gripping tight till it tears me apart

I’ll look at the cupboard
And just see an old mug
Not time mending pieces of my heart

The Moon is So Pretty

For Hyunjin

Staring up at the moon
Light reaching out
Pulsing

Like the blood
In my
Veins

Life’s river

Making its way
Over
And through
Till it reaches home

Sometimes shadowed
Or tinged blood red
Surrounded by darkness

Is it the same moon
That you see?

You know it’s that
Darkness
That makes the moon
Shine
So brightly

You are my moon

So far away
And yet so close
I could
Almost
Reach up and
Touch
Your face

Bringing such joy
Just by being
you

Even in darkness
Your light
Helps me find my
Heart
Like a lantern
I hold it up and
Find my way

If I’m the moon
Then it’s the moon by day
Hidden by light
Surrounded by the bright

Noone sees me there
Barely visible
Do I even care
As long as I
Can be me?
In all my me-ness?

Shadows all around
Making stupid noises
Stubbing my toe
Knowing that
I still shine
Regardless

Maybe someone
Looks up
Sees me
Like I see you

I look at its brightness
And shine
Borrowing its light
Matching it with mine

The moon is so pretty

Poem – The Moon is so Pretty